Reflection

It is in the early morning hours that I am writing. Today, July 26th, is the date of my late father’s birth. In the last 24 hours for me, I have already begun to look back and evaluate my past experiences, choices I made, and my relationship with my father in life looks differently than my expectations or aspirations my father had for me. My thoughts began to arise particularly during an Hospital Emergency Room visit. I had found necessary to address certain health crises so as to better redirect my energies during my day-to-day life.

He passed many years ago and the life on earth has changed so greatly from when he was alive. 1910 was the year he was born. Due to the hardships he encountered particularly during his younger years, he wanted to provide for his children so they would have an easier life from which to start. Education was important to his success during times of economic distress.

I was given opportunity to start at higher levels and after his passing, I began to discover the underpinnings of the leadership roles and more public facing roles. It took me much more effort to leave the underpinnings and yet these challenges helped me discover and understand how to better create solutions to what I would recognize was not working cohesively in work environments. My successes were evident in more quiet, self effacing ways.

It has taken much time to learn the art of diplomacy in communications, negotiations, and competing priorities. Looking back, I realize just how much I did not understand others who culturally had different experiences. I had begun to learn through conflict, challenges, and bringing success despite discordance and frustration.

Over the years, I have enjoyed the times of exploration, learning, and adventure, and believe I am better equipped to contribute in a more balanced, and often times subtle manner about problems among many different elements - professional and personal life, cultural differences among the population, especially living in a city attracting those from all over the earth.

I have felt attached with my interest and working in the financial industry - which included experience in banking, investment houses, legal related work. Plus, I have extended my life experience in other areas to understand more integrally other industries.

Initially, I had been introduced to technical analysis modicum through my dad in my high school years. That influence stuck with me throughout my life. At times, I stood aside from that connection, to evaluate if I was working in the investment field purely because of my dad’s influence, versus my own innate interest. My individuation, in part, I had grown in age and experience, though I was fairly an independent thinker in my earlier years.

My father, dad, meant much to me, as he believed in me despite my not believing in myself with many years of feeling less self-assured. He was dedicated to his work, yet he wanted to be a good father. Perhaps it was easier with his relationship with his daughter, versus son. His son was more defiant and willful at an early age which led to a challenging and distant relationship between dad and son. For me, the daughter, I responded well to learning from my dad - academically to intellectual pursuits. My dad was comfortable that way - as he became first time dad in his 50s. He married for the first time later in life - as his work pursuits were his focus with some female friendships along the way prior to my mother.

I miss my dad, yet I realize that by his letting go when I was 28 years old, I was more able to understand the world, versus being in a protective cocoon or chrysalis. Interestingly, I too seem to be following that aspect of my dad. He did not marry in his earlier years as it may have been challenging for another to join him while his inner life was more focused on his professional responsibilities and life overall. Certainly my life is not as extreme as many in the world, yet this is from my perspective and experience.

When I look back to this day, years down the path, I am sure I will observe an even more enriching understanding and depth, than I do at this time. Life can be a blessing so long as taking responsibility for my own actions, reactions, and thought processes. For each of us on earth , have our own challenges to experience, grow and learn from. How and in what attitude to manage our emotions and thoughts - to managing our bodies and maintaining good health, and to facing and addressing what we each face in our own lives.

Best wishes for each of you reading my story here. You are a valuable person who came here to experience life in this world. Taking one step or leap at a time, leads you to new growth and hopeful resolution to whatever conflicts you may experience. Choices and circumstances we each embark on, provide us with individual experiences and learning, yet there is always a true, underlying connection of humanitarian and humanity aspects. There are certainly complexities in life that may involve influences from sources unexpected by others. But, that is part of addressing what is, versus just what we want life and people to be. Life is becoming more complex outwardly, versus hidden over centuries. An exciting, yet crazy time we are living in.

Until next time, make the most of your life and in a way that provides you with the best quality of life you can experience, whatever and wherever your circumstances are!