Nostalgia

Connecting to memories of the past with my dad

This evening, I decided to have a glass of wine out. I chose a white wine from Spain at 1310 in Georgetown. As I would be sipping a glass of Vina Cartin Albariño, Rias Baisus, Spain. I also enjoyed an appetizer, a Calamari dish. This experience was unusual for myself. It was not until I arrived on Georgetown campus that I reflected back to my dad. He paid in cash for my education at a private college, now of university status. The internal part of me was feeling a sad moment, as my dad had paid for my college education through his income/investments. The thing or part that is painful, is that he was making money which had been considered good years before, but he was in his 70s when I was in my mid-20s, during the time which age was more noticeable. What that meant was he was paying in cash for my education when he was no longer making a good income to fully support the family and be able to care for himself as well. I remembered when I visited he and my mom in South Carolina several times a year, usually around holidays, he snacked on popcorn and peanuts roasted in their shell. He also would enjoy chocolate covered cherries more often than not. His mind was alert up until he passed. His health issue had become emphysema, a longtime smoker of cigarettes such as Tareyton 100s.

I loved him, despite at times a difficult, yet brilliant mind and intelligence. The painful part I am experiencing as I am writing, is that living that way was internally stressful for him and he was a proud man.

He loved to learn and teach what he learned. My dad had tutored me on investment technical analysis and money management. He was a product of the depression era, as he was born in 1910. Education was the means to excel in society, so he wanted his two children to be able to financially be stable and be able to care for themselves, as he may pass earlier due to being an older dad. He appreciated the Edwardian era and customs, i.e. early 1900s timeframe, and these customs and culture often incorporated in locution and dining.

As children, we can establish close connections to our parent, despite their challenges.

Looking at this now, I realize how much I appreciate my parents, and realize the more challenging aspects to their personalities no longer hold resonance. Beauty and time seem to assist in acceptance of what was with more appreciation and acceptance, without getting caught up in all the details when the actual experiences were occuring. Letting go of memories with love, really is the key to good health and release of the weights of the past. Wishing my blessed mother and father who have both passed, the best with love.

Have you had similar experiences?