The Queen of Sweden was ill at the time of Marie’s wedding, and thus was not able to attend the festivities. So Marie and her new husband, son of the Queen, went later to visit with her. The Swedish Queen had been born as Princess of Baden, and the visit location took place in Germany at Karlsruhe where the Queen’s mother, Grand Duchess Louise, was living.
The initial greeting took place at the train station where all met. Marie had dressed herself in proper adornments and best as she could in that space of a moving train car. The Swedish Queen and her Court were in mourning attire as Marie’s husband’s grandfather had passed.
Once at Karlsruhe for the official reception, the favorite chairs of the deceased grandfather, had funeral wreaths resting on them. Marie noted that the Queen seemed to be well-respected and admired.
The Grand Duchess Louise, who was daughter of Emperor William II, was the last of that generation to be alive at that time. Marie described her to have “strict principles,” “iron will,” “great intelligence,” and “extraordinary wide range of interests.” (Page 119) Marie also felt she was treated with “consideration” by her. The chambermaids would come to Marie and ask her how she had slept. During Marie's and Marie’s husband’s breakfast, the Queen would come to check in on them. Marie was surprised that even at breakfast time, the Queen would be wearing a crape mourning dress with a black train while she carried a fan with her black-gloved hand.
Marie observed that Grand Duchess Louise was devoted to her family and all concerned with family. The Grand Duchess asked questions about distant relatives. She had strict etiquette and solemn demeanor, even during family gatherings, such as during dinner for the official visit with Emperor William II. Marie noted that in Russian culture, Russian etiquette was only for ceremonies.
The next stop for Marie and her new husband, was a visit to Venice where they had time alone with each other. Marie had such expectations on what Venice would be like, and was disappointed when she had finally had the opportunity to visit. Marie noted that in years later, she had come to appreciate Venice much more.
After Venice, they went to Nice. They traveled by car and toured France and then, they were in Paris. At Marseille, the Prince had developed a light cold. So, the chauffeur took Marie to Chateau d’If, via a “small excursion boat.” (Page 120). Marie noted that the boat was full with laborers and soldiers on-leave from duty. It appeared that they had been drinking and were loudly singing.
The next area where the Prince and Marie visited was at Biarritz. There they visited with Marie’s cousin, Grand Duchess Xenia and her children. The home was a big villa near the sea. At St. Sebastian, they went to a bull fight. Marie became ill before the bullfight, as sitting in the sun and developing a headache, they left before the end.
Next, they traveled from Biarritz to Tours, and then, to Châteaux of the Loire. Marie was growing tired of “motoring.” (page 121). There were many auto breakdowns and there seemed to be much time waiting to get back on the road. Due to women’s attire being ill-adept for this type of experience, especially when she was “her own dressing maid.” (Page 121). She wore long skirts and a hat with a veil. The wind flattened her hair and her hat disarranged her hair.
While en route to Paris, “five tires blew out in succession.” (Page 121). Thing is that she was excited in seeing her brother, Dmitri, and her father in Paris. The delays made Marie’s arrival late in the evening. The first person Marie saw as driving up to the hotel, was Zhdanov, her brother’s old valet. They had arrived at her father’s home at Boulogne-sur-Seine. Marie felt stunningly silent as Marie had so much to say to Dmitri. Needless to say, they stayed up late sharing “their confidences” quietly. (Page 122).
The next morning, Marie met her half brother and 2 half sisters with the eldest sister being 6 years old. Marie noticed how this home of her father, was “comfortable peaceful, and simple,” versus the palace he left in St. Petersburg. (Page 122). Marie saw the happiness her father and stepmother shared, which had laid Marie’s past emotions to rest.
Marie was last in France at age seven. Now Marie had tried to create a hairstyle which was called a “false front.” Essentially, this is using a tool close to the front of the forehead to create dramatic height, though Marie’s hair was thick and the style did not turn out looking as it would typically as her hairs strands were coming down (besides the natural ones to line the face). Baroness Falkenberg “laughed until she cried.” (Page 122)
Marie and her husband continued their travel to Germany, the Baltic, and back to Sweden. Marie began giving speeches and her knowledge of the Swedish language really added to the connection between her and the Swedes. As Marie had noted about her experiences. She had wrote: “kissing little girls who tendered me flowers, talking with strangers, smiling at acclamations, tossing my handkerchief to the crowd.” (Page 123)
Coming into Stockholm by water on a warship, she had dressed all in white with a lace coat, a big hat with an ostrich plume, and around her neck a boa feather. The calvary were in sky blue uniforms and wore silver helmets. The carriages procession with both countries’ flag colors, followed Marie and her husband. Once in town, Marie and her husband were transferred into an open carriage. Once at the palace, the guard of honor was posted there and in the attire of Charles XII era. The footman helped her descend from the carriage. The King and Queen of Sweden had greeted them and then, out stepped her brother, Dmitri. As it turned-out, the King brought Dmitri to the palace, so Marie would feel more at home and comfortable to ease her living in Sweden. Marie and the Prince would stay at this Palace until their new home was built and were able to move-in. They had a suite of rooms in the Palace. Tania was now their maid. Marie’s favorite fox terrier was part of her warm welcome. Dmitri and General Laiming had come. This was an interesting turn of events, as she had been thinking she left Russia to start this new life and was planning to adjust. Yet here she was surrounded by her old life.
Marie’s husband was Duke of Södermanland. This area was about 2 hours by rail. All from the province had come to greet the Duke and his new wife. She observed that this experience was much different than her other receptions. The garden attendees stayed all day and came back the next day. Marie noted that Marie and her husband were in their château, and were watched eating in the dining room through the three large windows and glassed-in porch.
Once Dmitri left three days after the Södermanland experience, her husband’s aide-de-camp, Captain Klercher and Marie’s Baroness Falkenberg, remained. Once Marie was left alone for long periods of time on the estate, Marie began to feel homesick for Russia. She was not finding amusement easily. During the summer, Prince Christopher came to spend a few days at the Palace estate.
In the Autumn, Dmitri returned back to the Palace to visit with Marie. During his time there, the Prince, Marie, and Dmitri sailed on the small yacht among islands along Sweden and stopped to visit on an uninhabited islands and harbors, along the to bathe in rocky areas and cook over wood fires. Over the next Autumn visit of Dmitri, the prince was teaching Marie had to steer the tiller. Marie was discovering that she was having difficulty in keeping her hair in place and considered in buying a wig to wear. She discovered wearing a wig, she had difficulty keeping the manicured look and the wig fully covering her own hair.
After ten days, Dmitri left Stenhammer for Russia. The Prince and Marie went to Stockholm. The rooms where they stayed were “large and sombre, with magnificent furniture” that did not fill these rooms. Old tapestries were hung on the walls. Marie also discovered she was pregnant. Following the vacation, the Prince attended to his general staff duties with the Navy. While her physical health was good, she found herself “low in spirit, crushed and melancholy.” (Page 126). She realized she had been a part of the Russian traditions yet never really thought to educate herself in a systematic study. Her strengths had been keen “observation and adaptation.” (Page 126). So now in Sweden, she did not consider a systematic study of Sweden’s traditions. Instead, she gravitated to charity work which had been of importance to her Aunt Ella. Yet, Sweden did not seem to need charity work, as Marie noted Sweden had been well organized.
During the winter months, Marie found herself lonely and not having her mother to contact seemed to be really painful for her. Her Aunt Ella was too busy with her work to come to Marie. Marie noted she received much care and warned to take many precautions, though through the extra care, she began to believe she was “fragile.” (Page 127)
One evening, the labor pains began and yet Marie slept through the evening. In the morning, the daughter of the Duke of Connaught, the Crown Princess, came to be Marie. She remained with Marie throughout the day of many hours of pain. She had placed a mask of chloroform over Marie’s face once Marie’s son was born. Both the equerry and Baroness Falkenberg, both in full-court attire, waited while the child was readied to be quickly being taken to the King, the members of the government, the high dignitaries of the court. Once Marie was better able to move around, her son was to be baptized. Only Mlle. Hélène, Marie’s previous governess, was able to come from Russia.
The Emperor and Empress of Russia planned to come in June to visit and meet Marie’s son. When they did come to the Palace in Sweden and near the end of a state dinner, there was a shooting from someone hiding in the bushes. A Swedish General was killed and then, Marie watched carefully as all the guests left that night. This surprise attacker’s act was such a shock to the Swedish public. Apparently it had been centuries that an assassin had attacked in Sweden, and the assassin mistakenly killed the Swede for a Russian dignitary.
Marie’s husband was gone for such long lengths of time, that Marie realized she needed to organize her life in a more independent way. She was trying hard to make friends, as in her earlier years she had a limited connection with those outside of the imperial family and palaces. In her youth, she had thought that by learning from others, she would be better able to protect herself by learning about life. Much later in life, she learned how great the limitations can be be with a “princely education, heredity, and custom.” (Page 129)
There was an interesting quote with Marie’s own quote following.
“Hens cannot be taught to fly or eagles to talk like patriots.”
“Princes of reigning families are a race apart - a race that has been for centuries shut off in palaces, protected, restricted, compelled to live among its own dreams and illusions. Meantime the world and its needs pass us by. That is why we are destined to be destroyed or forgotten.” (Page 129)
Marie had observed that the Swedes regarded the royal family “fondly.” (Page 129). While the Swedish public would speak of the royal family admiringly and the public “enjoyed the show.” (Page 129). All good and bad was spoken by the Swedish public without ill-will.
Russia was much different. “The Emperor held, unchecked and undisputed, absolute power over his country and subjects. He was to some extent a god; and his family shared in the deification. Yet one never felt in Russia so bound by etiquette, so constantly on display, so circumscribed against natural inclination for an easy intimacy with other people, as one did in Sweden.” (Page 129)
Public life was rare and the few ceremonies were magnificent. Etiquette was only on purely official occasions. Palaces protected the intimacy within the Palaces. The Swedish royal family was always on display, where in Russia, it was easier for intimacy with other people. “The Russians talks familiarity his God, and approaches Him trustfully.” (Page 130)
Marie spoke of the Swede life as complicated, yet the people were easier to understand. Marie felt Russian life was easier and yet the people were difficult to understand. She stated the following.
“Those Russians who were admitted to our homes made friends with us easily, but - principally because of an intense pride almost morbid on their part - often took offense at nothing, and abandoned the friendship. And those not admitted felt themselves neglected, and vented their bitterness in criticisms which spread to the people at large, and were eagerly listened to and absorbed. So little by little Olympus was depopulated.”(Page 130)
Dmitri would come to visit. Marie and he would visit with this of those in neighboring castles and estates for dances. She met those in society in her area.
After Marie’s son was a few months old, she travelled with him to Peterhof at the invitation of the Emperor and Empress. Following that visit, she and her son went to visit Aunt Ella in Moscow. The pain for Marie was seeing the state of where she used to live with Aunt Ella at Nicholas Palace. Aunt Ella kept only a couple of rooms for her things and primarily lived at the convent. This convent, her Aunt had initiated and created - the structures and operations of a chapel, hospital and other new buildings for her Order. This new nun order “would resemble the Deaconesses of early Christendom.” (Page 131) The difference than what was already established in Russia, was this Order was actively involved with nursing and charity. Her Aunt Ella had broken free from her position at birth, and fully committed to this despite being laughed by many in Russia.
Marie expressed about her Aunt Ella. “I noticed that, emancipated, my aunt was better able to understand people and to bring her life into relation with the world of reality. Coming nearer to the miseries and frailties of humanity, she accepted them; penetrating to the hidden motives and passions by which the world is moved, she understood all, forgave all, and was exalted.” (Page 131)
Marie’s visit to Russia this time brought her to feel loss of the Russia she had once known and was not able to recapture the experience of what home had been in Moscow for her.