Early this morning, around 4:50 am, I had gone into the local McDonald’s restaurant to get a small black coffee to sip on as I wake more to world. I stopped in the lady’s room and was en route to the kiosk. A tall man spoke with me in an even voice, although I felt him energetically 4 feet away. I immediately responded in a way that expressed my not wanting to address anything before I had a chance to wake up enough (and as it turned out be ready for interrelating with the world).
Uncharacteristically, I said before the man really spoke to me, I have many people ask me for money often and often here. There are days I have only 15 cents in change and not more than a couple of dollars in my checking account. The truth is that during my time of healing and scaling myself to go back into the professional work-world, I have lived on a set income which can be challenging when need additional things or food to support my health or at times maladies, plus looking ahead in preparing for the professional lunge back into the world. With happenstance I receive some assistance often in a form of a loan from a longtime friend, but really that is not part of my thought process as an option I want to count on.
So back to the story. I left the man standing there and I went to sit down for a few minutes. I was shaken inside. After about 5 minutes or so, I walked back over to the man across the way within McDonalds. I said I was sorry and that I am offering to pay for food for him. Then, he told me in an even-toned voice that he needed cash as he showed me his discharge papers from down the street, The Psychiatric Institute of Washington (PIW). He said he had pooped in his pants and needed to take care of that. I felt for him within my thoughts as I recalled when I had colon issues resulting from some food allergies. I understood from experience that extreme temperatures can affect the body where there is less self-control. Also I realized due to that fact that even if he threw out his undies, he may go in his pants due to another uncontrolled situation. I apologized to him saying I do not have any cash on me to give him so he could go buy what he needs. I then went back to my things where I had sat for 5 minutes and realized I needed to leave, as I realized I needed more time to be quietly alone until I woke up more. I went down the street to check on my mailbox and then around 6:05am I went to another coffee shop where it was quiet and no customers yet.
There I ordered a coffee and began drinking it while watching what popped up on my YouTube app. Interestingly enough, the first 3 videos ended showing me some key points to consider after the McDonalds experience I had just earlier.
The first was a TedX Talk video of an entrepreneur and writer who spoke of her social experiment in which she took an unorthodox risk based upon what her life was telling her internally and her related writings were published in well known magazines. Her name is Celine Da Costa and her talk was on TedX UPM. She spoke of how she left her New York City job and with a small amount to use to go on a 1-year travel where she was hosted rather spontaneously by those she did not know internationally. One of her many lessons was the fulfilling development of friendships and connecting on a more human level, versus the fierce competition and pressure of her job and success. I had heard her story through other media previously, but it helped me cement that the unconventional choices I made enriched my life in perspective and understanding. I also showed that following an expected path is not always necessary for success which is really defined by our own self.
The next TedX Talk that popped up was on the topic of HSP (highly sensitive persons) and their fitting within society despite often having different aspects such as creating innovation, having integrity, and supports humanity. My mother, a nurse by training and later a nurse educator, had had a book on HSP on a bookshelf in her study. I remember reading through that book 15-20 years ago, and saying to myself yes I am sensitive and empathic, but I am also internally strong and have shown that within my work in both finance/investments and law. I recognize that I did not feel free to succeed like I could have in my earlier years due to family ties. That being said, I realize that over the years, I have grown strong such as a tree which has deepened its roots through grow and through hard, difficult times, to then become stronger in the winds of change on a much larger and/or grander scale. I can truly say I have certainly developed despite all the challenges getting to this point. As a point of reference, the speaker is Elena Herdieckerhoff on TedX-Paris.
Marisa Peer’s TedX Talk at KCS was the next to pop-up. Marisa’s talk was on the “training your mind.” Yes I have done that throughout my life often, but it is particularly important when making great direction changes in one’s life. You know what is the best path for you and often internally guided to make changes that require changing patterns and reactions to life’s circumstances. Her talk was a good reminder that little adjustments add up. How to speak and respond to one self despite frustration is often a decision to make the changes and know that it is consistency one is aiming for, versus perfection.
Perhaps this article will provide some ideas related to your own life in some way!